Let’s chase some geese. Specifically, Canadian Geese.
I know what you’re thinking.
Because chasing geese has become…or is starting to become, a “thing.”
In this case, with an investment of money and some desire on your end, you can become a geese chaser.
Seriously. It’s the sh*t.
I’m Not Being Funny Here
In a moment, I’m going to tell you about a franchise business that specializes…that’s right, a business that specializes in chasing geese.
But first, I want to mention a website I owned and operated several years ago called “Franchise Follies.”
The website featured listings of 100% made-up franchise opportunities. I’m talking about franchise concepts that would never fly as real businesses. I ran it for fun. And I used it as my practice pad* to improve my writing.
*A practice pad is what drummers use to practice their paradiddles and such. How do I know?
Because I took drum lessons as a kid, and was the drummer for a few teenage bands in my local area. I still play drums whenever I can. Wanna see a paradiddle in action? (I know you do)
Anyway, none of the silly franchise ideas I wrote about on the Franchise Follies website included the word “geese.” Or “chase.” Or chasing a goose.
As a matter of fact, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think a franchise opportunity that had to do with chasing geese would become a real business. Well it has. I think.
Geese Chasers Franchise
First off, why is there a franchise opportunity that offers to chase geese away?
Namely, why did a business like this start in the first place? I’ll show you.
Years ago, a dear friend of mine lived in a house in the country. And with it, a large pond only a few feet away from the front door.
Now, I’m not sure if you know this or not, but large ponds tend to attract large birds like this handsome devil.
But here’s the thing. A Canadian Goose has lots of friends. Family members, too. And they love to eat.
Fact: Geese Eat
To be sure, all animals need to eat. Here’s what Geese eat, courtesy of Cornell University:
“In spring and summer, geese concentrate their feeding on grasses and sedges, including skunk cabbage leaves and eelgrass. During fall and winter, they rely more on berries and seeds, including agricultural grains, and seem especially fond of blueberries. They’re very efficient at removing kernels from dry corn cobs. Two subspecies have adapted to urban environments and graze on domesticated grasses year round.”
With this in mind, what goes in must come out.
And what comes out is a lot of olive-green poop. Wait. “Olive” green? Maybe.
More importantly, the sh*t is everywhere. And as quick on my feet as I was back then, I couldn’t avoid stepping in it. Neither could Barry, my friend who owned (rented?) the house.
Heck, it was so bad, I didn’t even want to go to his house. (Gosh…I hope he doesn’t read this!) It was really gross. Now, it wasn’t gross year round, but still…blech!
Until then, I never knew people had Canadian Geese “issues.”
Good thing there’s a solution. One that may provide a good opportunity* for you.
*Note: I’m not engaged in digital marketing with the Geese Chasing franchisors listed below.
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Who would have thunk it?
Using Border Collies to chase geese away is a brilliant idea, as they’re trained to herd and/or “harass” without harm. Better yet, they’re the employees!
Employees who don’t need you to provide them with things like wages, Workmen’s Compensation, retirement plans…the list goes on.
That said, there are costs involved. For instance, your dogs will need food and Veterinary care, as chasing a wild goose around-or geese, uses a lot of a dog’s energy up, and is hard on the joints.
Who Are The Customers?
Does your community have a golf course, pool, park, recreation areas, and/or a pond or two?
Are there homeowners who own properties that tend to attract geese?
If so, those are your customers. Homeowners and businesses that need what’s called “geese management.”
And if you’re not sure if a problem exists, franchises that specialize in this needed service can show you how to find out.
Click the links below to learn more about becoming a geese chasing franchise owner.
Yep. There’s a franchise for that.
P.S. Make sure you check out one of the posts I wrote for my old Franchise Follies website below.
A Little Humor From My Old Franchise Follies Website: Two Men And A…
When Two Men And A Truck entered the scene and shook up the moving industry, I thought it would be interesting to come up with a similiar concept. So I did.
Let me know what you think of my idea for a moving franchise.
Two Dudes And A Junkyard Dog
Wow, what a catchy name! The most unusual franchise offering this year features a franchise for those of you who would like a less rigid system to invest in. In this franchise, you and a partner pay a small franchise fee of $8,000.
For that, you get a detailed, 3-page operations manual, local road maps, a lifetime membership to the Speedway Gas Station Unlimited Slurpee Club (SGSSC), a set of imported tools, 2 cans of Fix a Flat, 3 rolls of certified duct tape, and believe it or not, a certified junkyard dog.
As a franchisee you’ll be offering a wide variety of services to your community-from junk pickup, to package delivery services. Your territory, of course, is not protected, because the franchisor’s business model dictates extreme mobility. The 18% royalty is deducted (monthly) from your ATM.
As of today, this young franchise company is reporting that it has sold 7 franchise territories since they started franchising several months ago.
With that in mind, I’d like to tell you about their newest franchisees. They hail from Seethussis, Alabama.
About The New Franchisees For Two Dudes And A Junkyard Dog
Billy Bob Howard, and John Billy Howard (4th cousins, once removed), combined their personal resources to launch their expansive territory, which stretches from Boondoggle County to Deertick County, both in the Southeastern corner of the state. The Howard brothers were attracted to the flexible and mobile business model, and liked the fact that they didn’t have to submit their personal information for things like silly criminal background checks and credit history.
That said, their new business is off to a terrific start-and we wish them nothing but the best.
Finally, for more information about this cutting-edge franchise opportunity, please contact:
Jed or Fred Manson
C/O The Tennessee Dept. Of Corrections
P.O Box 1967
Whodunit, Tennessee. 33421-8991
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